Bakura in Wonderland
by Digital Ensalada
Summary: Bakura, simply put, winds up in Wonderland after falling asleep while watching a movie with Ryou. Some Shonenaislash. BakuraRyou BR
1. Chapter One

Just a quick note from the pathetic author. No, I don't own YGO. Nor would I want to. I'd probably be mauled for my horrible plots and pairings. Haha. Seriously. Anyway, this dreadful story is dedicated to several different people. But mostly Subaru. BECAUSEISAIDSO. Oh, I don't own Alice in Wonderland either. Dear god I wish I did. Because if I did own Alice, and I did own YGO, then, oh my, than this tale wouldn't just be a story, it would be.. THETRUTH.  
  
gigglesnerk Thankyou, thatwillbeall. taffynibblinghere  
  
It was a dreadfully rainy day. Nothing to do, nobody to bother. The kind of day where one must stay inside and tend to the dishes or read a novel or something else to that extent. Something that Bakura was NOT interested in doing. No, most definitely not.  
  
Bakura slouched down into the couch with an angry grunt of 'I hate rainy days', as Ryou cheerfully pushed the video into the VCR. Why he couldn't have gotten the digitally re-mastered or whatever in gods names it was called DVD from the store was beyond him. Perhaps it was because they didn't have a DVD player. Bakura decided to bring this up next time they went to the store.  
  
This did give him a terribly nice chance to oogle his hikari's bum, though.  
  
Suddenly finding himself lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice when Ryou plopped down next to him and pushed play on the remote. Only did he begin to notice the movie was playing when the said person elbowed him sharply in the side. Gods, the boy had pointy elbows. Probably from being so damn thin. Bakura decided to bring this up, as well, next time they went shopping. Note to self, buy more food.  
  
As the movie went on, the spirit began to feel himself grow more and more tired. The couch was rather soft and comfy, and the sound of rain make almost anybody relaxed.  
  
Bakura awoke with a start, the end of movie buzzing filling the room and signaling the end of the credits. He yawned and sat up, drowsily rubbing at his eyes. Only to notice a very scantily clad playboy bunny in the middle of the living room. Namely, Ryou.  
  
Of course, he did what any good and slightly horny yami would do.  
  
He went after Ryou. Several laps around the kitchen, and two around the yard before the smaller boy glanced down at a thin strap watch on his wrist and exclaimed, "Fuck, I'm late!" And thus, ran down the street and disappeared in a manhole.  
  
Yes, manhole.  
  
Giving an annoyed grunt, Bakura carefully peered down the hole. So, Ryou'd finally lost it. Late for lord knows what in a bunny costume and diving down manholes. Sounds like something Marik would do.  
  
Unfortunately for our poor protagonist, the ground was still very slippery and he felt himself topple down the hole. Very, very slowly. An echo of 'Shit!' rebounding off the walls.  
  
However, as he noticed fairly quickly, he wasn't really FALLING.  
  
More like floating gently.  
  
And that's when he realized what he was wearing.  
  
"The fuck?" Bakura gave the white and blue dress a repulsed look, wondering when the hell this thing appeared. Though he should have been wondering more about where he was falling to, exactly. And why the hell his furniture was in a manhole.  
  
He landed in a very clumsy manner on the ground, only to hear an annoying snicker from somewhere nearby. Apparently, he was in a room. Not a very BIG room, but a room. Empty, if you ignore the checkered floor and the door across the room. The door that Ryou was opening and disappearing into at that moment.  
  
Bakura bolted forewards, yanking open the door only to be faces with a smaller door. And then a smaller door after that. And a smaller one. And a smaller one. And this went of for a little while until he came to be faced with a door of around twelve inches tall.  
  
Despite his predicament, Bakura snorted. "Doubt even the pharaoh and his brat could fit through this." Finally, he pulled on the knob, only to hear a loud yelp. Caught off guard, he attempted a backwards roll, landing on one knee in what he thought looked like a menacing judo position, though it only caused the door to snicker. "For gods.. mind telling someone before you go and try to yank them open?" The door sulked slightly, twitching it's 'nose'. Bakura sighed and rubbed his temples. "Have you seen a little white playboy bunny run through here?" "Mm.. maybe" The door smirked. "Maybe not."  
  
Brandishing a knife that was cleverly tucked into his bloomers, Bakura advanced towards the door. "Now, have you seen the bunny or not?" "Uh..yes. He went that way." And the doorknob opened it's keyhole very wide, to show Ryou running down a path. Spotting Bakura's hand going at his knob again, the door pulled away. "Now, hold on a second! I'm LOCKED and you're too big. You have to get the drink from the table."  
  
Before the spirit could mention anything about a lack of the fucking table, it appeared from the middle of the room. With a small drink exclaiming 'Drink me' on top of it. So, he did just that. And shrank until he was the perfect size to fit through the door. "Are you going to open or what?" "Impatient, are we?," The door remarked dryly. "I told you. I'm locked. You need the key." And a key appeared on the table, which, by now, was far to high up to climb.  
  
So Bakura did the next best thing. He took his knife and began to try and pry to door off it's hinges. And succeeded, the door eventually laying face down on the checkered floor. However, as this was done, the room slowly began to fill with water until it became, frankly, an ocean.  
  
"Fuck.," The yami sighed, perching atop his door-raft. "I hate rainy days."  
  
Haha. Yes, craptastic. And a tad short, I know. Next chapter I'll write more, honest! That is, if people actually decide to like the story. And not flame me. Mm. Comment and all that lot, and I'll update even faster!


	2. A Lovely Tonic, Thank You

Oh golly, finally an update, you say? Well, I say, maybe you should have kicked my bottom for a lack of one, as stated in the last chapter. See, this is entirely your fault, not mine.

Oh, and, I'll be using a few dub names, since I'm too stupid to remember the lesser popular characters Japanese names. Don't yell, it's not my fault I was born without a brain.

Disclaimer thang: I do not own YGO, Alice, or the blame game. I just like to play with all three of them. 

"Manhole."

Grumbling, Bakura had taken to paddling his little door raft across what had become an ocean.

"Come ON. Who actually goes down those things anyways? And a manhole. What kind of name was that? I'd like to get him in my manhole, that's what I say." The last words of the sentence drifted off as someone appeared in the distance.

As Bakura drifted closer, he discovered just who this someone was.

Mako.

In a boat.

Pushed by what appeared to be some kind of whale thing.

"Hey! You! Fish guy!" Bakura somehow managed to stand himself up on the door, flailing his arms and looking like some kind of demented surfer.

Unfortunately for everyone's 'favorite' yami, he was promptly ignored, as Mako drifted by singing some odd version of a sea shanty. It sounded a bit like a mix of some Beatles songs, with a little Depeche Mode mixed in, with an Irish drinking song tune. All in all, it sounded like crap. But hey, what sea shanty didn't?

"Shanty.." Bakura grumbled to himself, back to paddling. Only now, he had somewhere to go. He was going to follow Mako. The guy had to be going somewhere. Somewhere with land, preferably.

Somehow, he managed to catch up to the boat and the whale. It was obviously a very slow movie boat, because otherwise a paddled door wouldn't have gotten anywhere near it. Not that a door would actually float.

Hell, it's wonderland, nobody asks questions about Wonderland, even though it doesn't always make sense.

Nobody asks questions about Yugi's hair, either, and that doesn't make sense.

Well, maybe they do, but that's beside the point.

Meanwhile, while the author was off on a tangent, Bakura had managed to gain access to the small craft. Moving his way to the front of it, he prodded Mako roughly in the shoulder. After gaining no immediate response, he prodded him again. And again, and again.

Until, however, the fish boy stopped his singing and grabbed his shoulder, rounding on Bakura. "That hurts!"

"Maybe you shouldn't ignore people, then?" Bakura crossed his arms, jutting out a hip and looking very much like a kindergarten teacher scorning a young child.

"But I'm being the dramatic sailor!" Mako pouted childishly, shuffling his feet.

"You can't be the dramatic sailor, though." Bakura pointed out, eye twitching slightly.

"And why not?"

"You're boat is sinking."

And so it was, sinking quite quickly, too. Because things like that just happen in Wonderland. One minute you float, and then you sink. It just happens. Takes you by surprise.

"Well, shit." He sighed, and started shuffling to the back of the boat. Bakura looked after him, "Uh..what're you doing?" "Getting off the boat. It's sinking after all." And with a cheeky smirk, he perched himself on the whale thing, and floated away. Because whale things don't sink in Wonderland. Sometimes.

"Hey! Wait! What about me?" Bakura demanded, begining to flail his arms at Mako again.

"You sink, and die. That happens sometime. Better luck next life!" He waved, turning around. Then, thinking again, he turned just his head, "Oh, and don't flail your airs like that. You look like a demented surfer."

And he was gone.

Sighing, Bakura sat down on the boat.

He missed his door. He missed his house. He missed his television. He missed Ryou, and all of the stuff Ryou owned but he thought belonged to him.

And, he was hungry.

But, as he was pondering all that he missed, and how he wanted some food, like macaroni and cheese, but not Kraft, because Kraft sucks, Velveeta is better and Kraft is falsely advertising being the cheesiest, somehow, the craft hit shore.

Or rather, disappeared and was replaced by a lot of sand and stuff, because the authoress has a lack of inspiration at the moment. Luckily, this is Wonderland, and things like that can happen in Wonderland.

And that's when a little playboy bunny ran by; Mickey Mouse watch clearly stating that he was late. Because in Wonderland, watches change, and say that people are late. And also, create a dramatic area in which an authoress can stop a story and have a cliffhanger.

Woo, so, that's it, then. Chapter 2. Pile of crap even bigger than Chapter 1! And here I was, thinking I'd never beat my Chapter 1 crap, and I did! Go me!

So, anyways, review and whatnot, and I'll update whenever I can remember to.


End file.
